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You can talk to a person, but can't see what they look like.

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The likelihood of getting out of your house and into a restaurant is high, but—face it—this isn't You've Got Real sex meets Philadelphia. You're not going to find your Tom Hanks with this app.

The sole review on the app's page summarizes it nicely: Don't waste your money like I did.

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The transition from desktop to mobile for websites is a Real sex meets Philadelphia like the great change from silent films to talkies during the late s. Some film stars made it and some didn't—take Buster Keaton, for example, he tried singing. Didn't work.

Yada yada yada, now he's dead. People want sex and they want it now—from the moment the app is downloaded to the moment of the actual date, the number of steps is, frankly, too high.

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You have to sign up, write a profile, sift through other profiles—the average millennial's Real sex meets Philadelphia span is about the size of the period at the end of this sentence. Mixxxer takes the carefree sentiment of casual swiping and infuses it with the high-octane close-up shots of vulvas that you see on sites like LiveJasmin.

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Phikadelphia Unless you like prostitutes—I mean, that's guaranteed sex right there. Are you into prostitutes? OkCupid became less of a hookup Real sex meets Philadelphia and more of a—ew—relationship app.

Up top, braaaaaaahhhhhhhhh. Like Beanie Babies were supposed to do Mobile nude women the 21st century, Hot or Not made a legit comeback with its app.

What's especially satisfying is the taboo-free interface that, frankly, allows you to get as taboo as you want. What's more sexy than finding sex on a sex-free app?

Except maybe the actual act of sex itself. Let it be known that Luxy only ranks high in this list because hundred-dollar bills are a straight-up aphrodisiac in America. Are you running a Ponzi scheme?

Now, they don't come out and say: So, when the pressure of finding a date location is off, you can focus on more important things: I mean, you've got to Real sex meets Philadelphia that people are down to clown if you match on 3nder—no one's on this zex in hopes of finding a meaningful relationship with two dudes named Brad.

This isn't Utah.

Grouper is reminiscent of that episode of The Simpsons where Mr. Burns is told that he has literally every disease in the world, but they've all balanced themselves out within his body and are keeping him alive.

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You're set up on a foursome with a friend and two anonymous people and are told to go into a restaurant until sparks fly. The thing about rich tech kids, though? They're horny and love drinking.

So when four aroused like-minded individuals are in Real sex meets Philadelphia enclosed environment under the guise of bragging about their startup until someone's pants come off Tinder is about as 21st century as metes gets. It's literally shopping for people. Want a friend with an equally stressful life for some stress reduction.

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